We are planning to meet up with G, so having recently read a Grace Dent review we decide to book in at Cloth in Cloth Fair, right by St Bartholomew's the Great, the church used in the last wedding of Four Weddings and a Funeral. I remember it as a restaurant called Betjeman's and I do overhear someone at another table say that it used to be Betjeman's house.
The day before, G texts to say she can't come, there'd been a mix-up in dates. We decide to go ahead anyway, though we don't bother to alter the booking. When we get there, a little early shortly after 1pm, the place is heaving - this is on a Tuesday. There are a couple of cramped tables for 2 available in the first room - we get shown through to the second room where we get a nice table in the window, overlooking the church. It is laid for 3 people as per the booking, so we then have a lot of space (effectively a table for 4) rather than being squeezed in - a neat trick!
First impressions - everyone seems to be having lentils; the demographic is completely white and very grey; and it is extremely loud. G is rather hard of hearing so it might well have been very difficult for her - as it is, the two of us have enough trouble talking across the table. The volume is simply down to the voices of people crammed into the small rooms and hard surfaces all round, including marble-top tables.
When we look at the menu it seems that lentils come with the set lunch, where lamb shoulder has been replaced with pork belly. We decide to go a la carte and choose the Iberico ham at £24 to share to start, which rather meanly doesn't come with bread so we have to order that extra. It takes a while to flag down a waitress (as we are in the furthest reaches of the restaurant) We order the Zeuger Sauvignon Blanc which turns out to come from Austria. It's the second cheapest on the list at £43 - this clearly isn't going to be a cheap meal. The set menu is just £29 for three courses - hence all the lentils.
There are two types of bread - both delicious. The ham itself is slightly warm, glistening, and presented beautifully, with small slices positioned in circles on the plate. Crockery is eclectic, like being at your gran's. The decor is eclectic too, walls packed with an odd collection of stylised "old" pictures and drawings with no apparent theme or logic.
For main course B orders the crab risotto (£26). This comes as one mass on another odd plate. It's a plate of luxury - rich, warming, full of flavour. Although it looks a big portion, with every mouthful the same, B polishes it off with enthusiasm. I have chosen the monkfish and langoustine, the most expensive item on the menu at £35. This too is a largish portion with plenty of firm monkfish and some less interesting seafood. The lobster bisque it comes in is excellent.
Despite the size of the dishes, I decide to have dessert as I had seen a very pretty one on the neighbouring table. It's honey custard with lemon curd and honey and pistachio parfait biscuits - good biscuits, sharp lemon.
Although some tables have been vacated, there are still people coming in at 2.30pm or later. At the end of the meal we ask the friendly waitress if it's always this busy. It seems that as well as the Guardian review, there had been a very good one in the Times, so it may be a slightly temporary situation. There was also someone at another table taking detailed notes, and being treated to wine selections by the owners, so probably another review to come.
We get the bill, but notice they had only charged us for one bottle of wine. Being honest souls we point this out. Service charge is the insidious 13.5%. Total, just over £200, which to be fair is about what Grace indicated (by the time you add in pricey wine). It's been a very enjoyable, well-paced lunch, good to have experienced, but I think one only for special occasions with people able to cope with the noise.
